Saturday, September 1, 2012

Scary Thoughts

    Guess what people!? I start my senior year on MONDAY. Monday. It doesn't feel like I'm supposed to be graduating in 10 months. It doesn't feel like I'm supposed to go off to college in a year. Now I wish I listened to all my teachers during Freshman year when they'd say, "Don't slack on choosing colleges! You need to think about it right now!" but of course, as a freshman, you think that thinking about colleges that early is silly and not important. Then you hit sophomore year and still believe you have a lot of time.
    And then Junior year comes. All of a sudden, freakout time hits you and you think, "Oh no. I haven't thought about college at all. Do I want to major in that? What if I won't really like that?" And then you reach the brink that I am currently balancing on. About to start my Senior year abroad, having to fill college applications for places I can't even visit, and worry about my counselor not getting back to me with the link to my online government and economics class.
     Graduating to me, while the thought is exciting and thrilling, is a very scary thought. Thinking about graduating and being officially done with standard school is strange. I've always liked school. I liked the friends, the classes, the teachers, and the smell of the hallway on the first day. While I do like summer and free time, I've always just really enjoyed school. Will this feeling remain when I move on to college and eventually my career? School prepares you for life, I suppose. I guess you think it'd be more of a softer let go instead of a boot out the door.
      So yeah, beginning my senior year in exactly two days and a couple hours (I start at 11am... wha...) is a little daunting. Not to mention it's my senior year in Bosnia, which is the scariest thing. I know a max of four people in my school. My fellow SHAKE members (SAVANNAH IS HERE. OH MY GOSH SAVANNAH IS HERE. YAY) and that is all. People called me crazy going into this program. Out of all the years to apply, why my senior year? Why skip out on prom? Why have graduation date and departure date flirt with each other to see if I'm going to be able to walk? Why chance me still getting an Honors diploma? Why, you all ask? Because I'm just a little bit crazy and the world is a little bit mysterious and leaving my family and friends for a year is a little bit exciting to discover so many incredible things that, some time ago, I didn't even know existed. That's why.

    On a side note! We finished our language camp today! With Anna's help I was finally able to understand cases. English nor French have cases, which are the only two languages I know. Anna and Helena understood cases because they studied German. Emma caught on to it really fast. As for me? I struggled with Bosnian. But I have a Disney "Uci Engleski" (Learn English, but can be used to learn Bosnian) picture book with plenty of words for me to learn. I'm excited to read that book. The other day I was able to *decently* talk to my host mom and ask her some questions, like if I need to ride the bus that morning or if I was able to get a ride. Whenever I speak Bosnian, Nizama always smiles and is happy to talk back to me.

    So here I am, preparing for my final year of high school and diving in to a completely different lifestyle. Scary, but exciting.

    Anyway, here are some pictures of what I've been up to these past couple days:
Folk Music Concert!

    Until school starts!

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