Sentiment

    Ah, it's good to be back. Between church, work, school, and what ever else life throws at me, getting around to writing a blog post is sadly one of the last things on my mind.


    Just last week, I attended Ashoka's Youth Venture Social Entrepreneur Workshop which is a fancy title to say that I was in Washington DC for an exchange student alumni workshop for YES and YES Abroad that would give us the tools to address the social issues in our community. There I met, not only other Americans who spent a year in a foreign country, but other international students who spent their year here in the United States. It was so exciting to be surrounded by exchange students again, discussing our home countries and host countries. People from all over the world were in that little coffee colored conference room with common goals and purposes. Young adults from Asia, Africa, Europe, and America all gathered together to be the change makers in their community. 

YES and YES Abroad Alumni

     There, Emma (from SHAKE) was home in DC for Spring Break, so we met up and went out for ćevapi at a Bosnian restaurant not far from my hotel. Attached to the restaurant was a Bosnian grocery store. As I skimmed each *tiny* aisle, I found myself in another nostalgic rut of emotion, wishing I could buy each Munchmallow and Milka bar and blue Fanta bottle to take back with me. As I looked at the items, I heard the store keeper speaking with a man in Bosnian and I could have died, I was so excited. I understood. Not to mention I haven't heard Bosnian in months, so the fact that I knew what they were talking about when my Bosnian is pretty rusty, made my heart swell with joy. Then as we were checking out, the lady had heard us speaking English, so she checked out our items in English, asking if that was all and giving our total. As we left the store, I turned and said, "Hvala puno, dobro večer! (Thank you very much, good evening!)", the shopkeeper looked pleasantly surprised as she stuttered out a "Molim, priatno! (You're welcome, have a good day)" My smile widened and I nearly skipped, I was so happy for that moment of bosanski jezik (Bosnian language).
     As I spent time with my new-found friends from all sorts of countries, it just made me so happy to talk about Bosnia once again in an open environment where people were excited to hear my stories and live my experiences with me, because they had gone through similar events. Lately, the most I've talked about my exchange is sneaking it into essays for school.

     Then, just last month, my sister returned from India after six months teaching English and kid's church at an orphanage that my dad has been highly involved in for quite awhile. For the first couple of weeks that she was back, however, we couldn't find time to have sister time. She was back, but then I got snowed in at school. Then she was off to Hawaii to surprise our cousin. Then I was off to DC for the workshop. On Wednesday was one of the first times we had actually sat down and talked about life. As we sat on the stairs of the church stage after youth group, she looked down looking a bit melancholy.
    "Do you ever miss Bosnia?" She asked, quietly.
    I sighed, probably for added effect and being dramatic. "Everyday," I said. "Don't you miss India?"
    "Of course, but nobody cares anymore. Nobody asks about it."
    "I know." And I knew better than most. People hear your few stories that you have on back up that you want to tell everyone, but after that, they don't find it interesting. You went away, you came back, that's cool, move along. And there is nothing you want more than to find someone you can always go to and just discuss it with. People don't understand the slight changes in your behavior from being away and the only other people who get it, are the people who did the exact same thing as you.

Drinking from the Sebilj - it means you'll one day return to
Sarajevo and I seriously hope this is true.

    After that sister moment and missing our countries, I found myself wanting to speak Bosnian again and so I wrote my host mom and talked to my friends back in Sarajevo. Missing my host country isn't even something that comes and goes anymore, it's a state of my being. Sure, I've established myself back here in Oregon, become a college kid, made more friends, and gone on different adventures, but the thought of my Sarajevo life is always still there. I take any and every opportunity to slip Bosnia into conversation (I'm sorry, a billion times over if this annoys you) and am working ways to take my passion for my love of cultures and writing and mix it together (so far we're at blog posts, articles on Go Abroad, and essays for school. Next stop: everything.). My love for Bosnia won't die down anytime soon and there's nothing I want more than to be back at Panjina Kula with Esad and Nizama or down at a café in Baščaršija with SHAKE or sitting in my Teen Group at Evanđeoska Crkva.

    Anyway, there's my Bosnia love for the day.

    Until next time when I have more sentimental feelings to share,
- Katie





    

Busses

    Ah, exchange blog. I've missed you so much this past month. Shall we be nostalgic together?
    It's strange how such a normal task, even in your home and host country can bring you nostalgia and flashbacks when you start up again.
    This, for me, was taking the bus.

    Before Bosnia, the only busses I ever took were my yellow school bus for a max of ten minutes everyday and that one time I took a smelly, over-crowded bus in Las Vegas. Needless to say, my fondest memories of American life were not on those rides.

    When I arrived in Bosnia, I soon realized public transportation was going to be the main mode I would navigate the city. I wasn't too thrilled. My idea of busses were smelly and noisy and altogether unpleasant. People were grumpy and children were restless and it was the last thing I wanted to join in on. The third or fourth day of me being in Sarajevo, my host sister picked me up after language class and told me we would be taking the bus home. I couldn't imagine why, but that thought made my stomach churn. She told me to pull out 1.60 KM and that when the bus pulled up, I would squeeze my way on to bus, hand my money to the driver, and try to get a seat.
    The seat thing didn't happen.
    The bus quickly filled up and we ended up pressed against the windows on a hot day for the next fifteen minutes, falling into the next person every time we took a sharp turn (aka every thirty seconds).

     In those short ten months, the bus became a normal part of life. Every time I needed to get home, I would wait for bus 72 or 74, board the bus, flash my student pass (even if my bus driver soon started recognizing me and smiled every time I boarded), took a seat (or stood and held on to the bar for dear life) and rode up the mountain to Panjina Kula. Most days, I would sit silently and listen to my iPod or contemplate the next blog post I would write, but every now and then I would talk to the person near me.
     One day it was an elderly lady who asked me if the bus went to Sredrenik, but I didn't understand her at first and I felt disappointed I couldn't help her. But instead of writing me off, she slowed down her speaking and used easier language so I could understand her.
    Another time I sat by an old man who started talking to me about how he visited America when he was a college student.
    I rode up with my friends and showed them the beautiful view from my vantage point.
    By the time my exchange was over, I came to truly enjoy those bus rides. They were simple and uncomplicated unless someone heard me speak English and then I would hear them talking about me being an "amerikanka". That was rare enough though, so, I could deal with the immature teenagers that would confront me and make fun of me.

    Since I returned home, I hadn't ridden the bus since my last full day in Bosnia. No matter where I've gone in America or Canada, there was a car to take me there. I've started taking it for granted and have limited my going places because I don't have any way of getting around on certain days.
    Just last week I was hired for a job that is a straight 77 blocks down the road from my school which would take an hour and a half to walk and nothing important is down there for it to be "on the way" so someone could drive me. Friday was training day and I had to fall back on something I hadn't done in seven months. Public transportation. I looked up the bus schedule and made my way to the stop.
     Well that turned out to be an adventure.
     Firstly, I didn't know where to pay for my ticket and the bus driver got mad at me for being confused. Then I forgot my phone back at campus. Then I arrived twenty minutes early plus the general manager was home sick with the flu so my training was cancelled. Then I realized I didn't know the returning bus schedule so I had to call my mother to get the numbers for one of my friends from church who was currently in Portland and she didn't have them, so I had to call my dad to get them. By the time this whole ordeal was over, I was already exhausted and that wasn't even the majority of my day.

    However, taking the bus reminded me of all those rides in Bosnia, turning around narrow corners and talking to strangers (sorry parents and teachers who told me not to do that). The entire fifteen minute ride to my workplace, I was constantly thinking back to Bosnia and how different it was. The busses weren't hand-me-downs, there wasn't nearly as much graffiti, and absolutely no old people to hold your bags for you. There was so much room between each person, nobody daring sitting next to each other if they could avoid it and I found the whole situation funny.
    Bus rides were a normal, mundane task and here I was thinking back to how different it was and how I actually missed my old bus rides with the beautiful scenery and even the general people (my bus was full of old people)! I'm sure as these next few weeks go by and I take the bus more consistently, I won't think about my bus rides in Bosnia and how it was always an adventure, but instead just think of it as part of the job. But as for now, bus rides are a constant reminder and that's something I'm perfectly okay with.

    Anyway, I have to go do some reading for classes tomorrow, not to mention my sister returns from India tomorrow night! Ah, I am so excited!

    Until more bus rides and coffee,
-Katie

First on the bus with Hels in BiH. It was a nice feeling.

End of the Season

     Ah, here we are on the never completely over blog post where I become nostalgic and go over events of the year. It's crazy to me how much can happen in a single year. Twelve months, fifty-two weeks, 365 days.

    I can't believe that a year ago, I was in Bosnia, a fact I never fully forget, but don't quite always think about it. I would be at Savannah's host family's house watching music videos with the rest of SHAKE (Savannah, Helena, Anna, myself, and Emma for those who forgot. OR YES Abroad BiH 2012-2013 for those who don't even know) and eating the random food on the table. We all called out "Happy New Year" together and watched fireworks go off through the fog and smoke from wood stoves and it was so strange to have celebrated the old year and a new year in a foreign country.

     January: The month that went from zero to a hundred in a few days. First, nothing was happening as I slept in everyday and drank topla čokolada (hot chocolate). Then it was the youth conference in Mostar with some of my best friends and my package came from home and then my wallet got stollen on the tram. After that, January died back down as it slipped into February and into the second semester of school and my exchange.

     February: One of the quietest months I had. Conversations with my host mom, a SHAKE birthday party for Emma when we went bowling, and then my own birthday which was spent alone in my room because I was sick and my host family thought it was the next day.

     March: Life picked up quickly in March, kicking it off with a big youth group day at my church plus guests from Switzerland! It was one of the most fun days I had while being in Sarajevo and I still remember it so well as we dashed through Old Town, laughing until we cried. The next day was my birthday party with SHAKE as we headed up to the top of the mountain to see the view and have sandwiches and throw rocks as far as we could (Helena's could have gone far if it didn't hit a particular target...). Once we returned home, it was the Fruit Loop Catching Challenge and I won and it was lovely.

     April: My spontaneous month, full of impromptu hair cuts (a big deal in girl world, ok?), random photo shoots across Sarajevo, and practically living at my church for a weekend because of concerts and foreigners. SHAKE traveled to Croatia and I went golfing with my friend from church (an interesting experience indeed).

    May: My mother came to visit me in Bosnia this month and we traveled with SHAKE to Croatia again, this time Helena's mom joining us for part of the trip. It was wonderful to have her share part of my experience abroad. Once she left, SHAKE began wrapping up the year and it was so incredibly sad to think we were heading home that next month. We had our last cultural excursion, we talked to the American Ambassador, and another exchange student in Bosnia stayed with me for a few days which was so lovely!

    June: Probably one of the saddest and happiest months I had this year. I said goodbye to all my friends I made from a year abroad and then said hello to my friends and family waiting for me in America and Canada! My life at that point was just a big, jumbled mess of feelings and I didn't quite know what to make of them.

Saying goodbye to my host mom, Nizama!

SHAKE for the last time.

At the ECA for our Bosnia presentation

Finally get to hug my brother!

    July: Went to my home church's camp and it was so fun! My friendships only grew and everything, for that moment, felt just how it should be.

    August: I began my transition into American life again and then into college! My best friend became my roommate and college life vaguely reminded me of Bosnia. It was such a nice, familiar feeling to be meeting so many new people and going to classes again.

    September: Reverse culture shock bit me in the butt during this month, but I tried to ward it off by getting a super part-time job and going on late night Mexican food runs with my friends. Nothing too exciting other than my feelings for Bosnia were about to explode and what made it worse was my sister left for India to teach English!

This is me pretending to hug my sister because she isn't here.

    October: I became a published author on Go Abroad! I spent more time writing, which I absolutely adore to do as well as going out with friends more and doing things I normally wouldn't. It's been wonderful.

    November: Began the month with the crushing news of the mass grave found in Bosnia, but I think I just made it worse when I went to All-Night Prayer at school and just found myself crying more than I should. But it was still good to be a part of. It was also Thanksgiving where we had the multitudes of foreigners (Brazilians and Canadians, plus an Alaskan who is practically Canadian so...) and it was such a fun weekend, especially when my team won the football game. I scored a touch down even!

  And December: This month has been productive, to say the least. School ended and all my friends flew out to their homes (I merely got picked up. Perks of living 45 minutes away) and since then I have been hanging out with my family and local friends, keeping up on my writing and helping around the church and home. Christmas was small because my sister was gone, but then I received news that my French host sister is coming to visit me in July!

   So here's to 2014. I don't know if it'll top 2012 or 2013 (both were pretty fabulous years), but I'm going to make the most of it. It may have been six months since the end of the best time of my life, but I'm planning on making 2014 better. I'm not sure how, but maybe with a look of optimism, I'll accomplish that.

    Anyway, cheers to the new year!

    Until 2014,
-Katie

P.S. Photo cred to the lovely Anna Wright, the wonderful Stephanie, and my own fantastic mother.

Being Connected

    When you read the news, sometimes you feel a little disconnected. Something happening in a country on the other side of the world that doesn't truly affect you, so you feel a bit sad for the people that are experiencing it, but otherwise you feel generally okay. Your city and country are doing quite well compared to others, no wars being fought within the borders, no immense and noticeable damage done. However, when you are connected to another country, the stories become more real and more apparent. You feel for those countries, even if you aren't in them. And that's something Exchange has done to me.

    Every time Bosnia and surrounding countries are brought up, I instantly get excited. However today was a different story.
    This evening, while I was enjoying a basketball game, my mom texted me the link to an article about the Bosnian War. Thinking it would be something a bit fascinating, I opened it, not ready for what was to be read.
     "Hundred of bodies found in Bosnia mass grave" it read at the top in big, bold, black lettering. My heart sank at the words. My mind flashed back to going to Srebrenica where thousands of graves were spread out, thousands of people murdered and dumped into a ditch. We watched videos of families after they figured out what happened to their fathers and sons and husbands. We read biographies of bodies they identified. None of us left that building feeling happy. There was a hole in our hearts and we were living so close to the place it happened. We all knew families that had been affected by the war.
    All of us were connected, which is why, as I read the article, I fell into a deeper slump.
    "231 bodies found."
    "Body parts of another 112 dug up."
    "The number increases by the day or even the hour."
    "Personal items found to help identify them."
    "Grave nearly 33 feet deep."
    "Mass grave under garbage disposal site."
    I kept reading, no matter how much it hurt. These bodies found were people. They had families and friends and here, nearly twenty years after the war, they are finally going to discover what happened to them and those wounds are going to be ripped open once again.

     All this hurts so much more than I expected it to hurt. I had been there. I lived there. Both history and current events become so much more real when they have faces and there are so many faces and stories I relate to those found bodies.
    I told one of my friend's this when I heard the news. She was sad, of course, as anyone is when they hear tragic stories of war, but she didn't understand the pain I was feeling as my heart reached out to those families who are going to discover what happened to their loved ones. My friends don't understand that  I stood in the empty tire factory where they told the villagers to come and they would be safe. But they used it as a way to get everyone together in one place. They separated the men and women and then took the men away and shot them all, even the boys. I stood in the place they were buried, looking out over a thousand white crosses. I saw the empty shells of houses that were bombed. I lived with a family who had to abandon their home and live in a refugee center. Their children are still bitter and angry today. That is why news like this is sad to me. They don't understand that I had been there, seen that, and felt things I never thought I would feel. Never before had I been connected to such tragic pasts and there I was standing in the midst of a genocide. It doesn't matter that it was almost two decades ago. I was connected now and it makes this all so real and painful.

My prayers go out to the families that will have to face the news in due course. I never thought exchange would come with such a burden so long after it's been over. I didn't know that everything that happened in that country was almost as if it was happening to me as well. Nobody told me how 
exchange could effect me like it is now.

A fraction of the names of people found in Srebrenica after the mass genocide.

Anyway, I hope this post gives a bit of food for thought to all who read it. Thanks to my mom for letting me use some of her wording explaining how I feel better than I ever could.

Until Bosnia pops up in the news again (hopefully for the good - wait! Bosnia made it to the World Cup! Yay!),
-Katie

Application Season

    Wow. It's actually crazy to think that it's that time of year again for students all over the States to fill out the application to go on YES Abroad. It barely felt like any time at all that I was filling out the application to come to Bosnia. And it feels almost less than that when I first applied in 2010 (I was rejected, in case anyone was wondering). This is the fourth application season I've gone through. Twice actually filling it out, once witnessing it from abroad, and now witnessing it from within the States after my own exchange.

    The application season is stressful, no doubt. You think you have four months to complete your application, which you do, and that seems like so much time! But then the holidays roll along and you get caught up in singing 'Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer' and eating turkey and next thing you know the application is due!
    I took all four months to complete the application. Whether it was switching in and out my pictures or editing my essays or getting good recommendations, I was constantly working on it. The first time I did it, I wasn't really thinking anything through (hence why I was rejected). My essays were short and incomplete, my pictures not really clear on what I did, and I didn't explain my extracurriculars well enough to give anyone a clear idea of what I liked to do. So! For you current applicants for 2014-2015 (what even. How.) I have some advice.

1. Get a second opinion. And I don't mean from one of your friends. I mean, go to your English or History teacher or parent/guardian or someone who knows what a good application looks like. They will help you make yourself sound wonderful (when I'm sure you all are ;) ) and having a well-crafted essay definitely helps. I got my mom to edit my essays with me, rewording things that didn't sound right or adding things I didn't think of and it turned my essays into wonderful little pieces of work.

2. Take your time. This is extremely important. Most people will want to book it out in a night or two, but taking your time is really key. You can go over essays and change things you don't like, add things that you've begun, and be overall satisfied with your finished works. Plus it diminishes the stress when you aren't thinking, "Oh gosh this needs to be done by tomorrow and I've only written a sentence and put my information in." If you can slowly go through everything, you'll be sure not to miss anything and get everything perfect.

3. Talk to alumni. Whether it's for your sake or your parents, it's always good to talk to people who have been on the program before. It makes you feel secure and comfortable with what you're doing, not to mention they give you great help during the entire process. I had my list of alumni I talked to and they encouraged me and helped me like some people just couldn't. They assure you things will be alright and push you to keep going. There is a Facebook group so be sure to join it! You'll find people just like you, too. :)

4. Research. You may not know a lot about YES Abroad or the countries you are applying to study in and the last thing you want happening is saying something along the lines of, "I want to study abroad, especially in a south east Asia country like Oman!" It just won't look right. Having a basic knowledge of the countries you want to study abroad in is always good to use so you can convince the reviewers that you really want this.

5. Write your essays carefully. Your essays will always be tricky. It's difficult sometimes to convey feelings into words, so definitely think them through and plan them. It's easy to start rambling and stray from the original topic. With the Host Family letter especially, be honest, definitely, but careful with your wording. Don't use popular American slang or idioms that won't translate well into the foreign language of your potential host country and family. Make it clear what kind of person you are, your hopes and dreams, your family, all while using clear language that can be translated well. Again, don't lie about yourself or make yourself sound better/worse than who you are. Get that second opinion to help you write an honest essay of how people perceive you, so your potential host family/country know you before they even get to meet you.

6. Really, really want this. YES Abroad is pretty crazy in knowing the people who really want this and who would be good for this program. This program isn't some easy vacation where you can chill the entire year. It's important you have real, honest reasons why you want to be a part of this program. You have to want to challenge yourself and be tested. Don't try painting yourself in this grandeur, making yourself sound better than you are because they will see through you in the interviews. Learn your reasons for going and voice them properly. Don't go on a social media site being a know-it-all and respect everyone else applying. You have to be good for this program and to be good for the program, you have to be good with everyone else.

    I hope this all helps and I wish luck to all the current applicants! Feel free to contact me on Twitter @KateWells7 or comment on my blog. Here's the link to the application: http://www.yes-abroad.org/pages/how-apply
 
    Anyway, I have to go write an article for www.goabroad.org where I'm soon going to be a published writer there! So crazy to think that.

    Until more advice and nostalgia,
-Katie